Relationship dilemma

Guess who always forgets she has a blog??? Guilty.

So while I had so many goals to fulfill after my exams I seem to have achieved none except getting shitfaced every weekend.
Don't get me wrong, getting shitfaced is much more fun than the other goals I set but it only add to my waistline and I get nothing done during the weekend. 

 The big news is, I am all in-love nowadays :) how do I know its love? Well; I am extra happy for no just reason when my phone rings, I smile when I see him walk towards me, and I am a bit use my side eyes to check who he's chatting with. 

However, while all these feelings are awesome, there's always that tiny space in my mind collating all our differences. Those tiny things that matter very little when you are friends, but makes all the difference when you are married. 

Anyways, my best friend has told me to stop worrying so much and enjoy being in love. Afterall, life is a collation of all the little moments, and I have decided to live it to the fullest! 

xx

Growing with your man

Hi Lovies,

Work and studying for exam is très stressful. Fingers crossed for June and then we are so painting all of Lagos pink.

Soooo... One of my colleagues was giving me some gist yesterday about his friend and I decided to share the story. Here it goes:

A guy, lets call him Brian, met a girl in NYSC camp. This girl is from a distinguished and quite prominent Lagos family, and the guy well grew up less privileged. After some serious wooing by the guy they started dating, and over time the girl fell head-over-heels in love.

Post-service year, the girl got a good paying job, quite good by all standards, however the guy was unable to get a job, seeing Nigeria as it is.

Obviously she, with the help of her family, secured him some interviews but they never worked out.
For the first four years the girl supported her boyfriend, got him a flat, paid for their vacations, and they were the ideal couple, displaying their love on social media. Brian put her picture perpetually as his display picture.  Life was good, the guy proposed and they picked a intro for 3 months and wedding 9 months after hoping and praying the guy will get a job by then and they wouldn't have to rely on her family.

A month after introduction, prayers got answered! The girl's aunt hooked Brian up with an interview and he got a job at a bank. Six months into working, with his babes help he changed his car, and omo boy started looking all fresh.

You would think this is where the story goes and they lived happily ever after right? Well not quite. With a new car, new job and money landing in his bank account every month, he stopped needing the girl's help. And, unfortunately Brian started noticing all the 20-year old small yellow girls with big ass, short skirts and heels all around his office.

One month to the wedding, one month o, Brian cancelled the wedding invite they both sent on Facebook. When the babe's friend called her during a meeting saying "babe there was a mistake o, your book cancelled an the wedding invite sent on facebook", girl was just like "oh he's always sitting on his damn phone". Girl picked the phone to call Brian expecting to hear sorry baby it was a mistake. Well............... nope, no error there. Mr I just got me a job and looking fresh-Brian told babe he was calling off the wedding! Girl was like how, why, no fights, we are great. Well they weren't great according to Brian, he said he had been unhappy for the last five years, and that apparently three months into their relationship he realised she is not the kind of woman he sees himself marrying, because her family looks down on me.

Same family that got him a job, and through them literally survived for over four years? and he's just coming to that comclusion one month to the wedding.

FIVE YEARS! one month to wedding! Invites everywhere! And they say babes be going crazy. Jesus se you are watching these people!.



Anyways that brings me to my point, is it worth growing up and going all through thick and thin with someone. I am not particularly one-sided to think its just men that are selfish, people generally are selfish and self serving, they can overlook all your flaws when they need you, but once they believe they can self sustain or have other options they forget all you have been through. I have heard of a babe some guy sponsored to Uni and she thought she was too "learned" for him after so she dumped him.

So I just judge people who can't do the long term investment even though I respect people who still can. Ultimately my opinion is, we should only give (what we can afford and doesn't break your account or back) out of love instead of what we can get back. Love is giving and love is kind, if he/she leaves you after all you do, he/she doesn't and couldn't ever have loved you, you deserve better, and karma always has a way.

 Prince charming is on the way.

Teaching an old dog new tricks

"To serve an unintelligent man is like crying in the wilderness, massaging the body of a dead man, planting water-lilies on dry land, whispering in the ear of the deaf" —Panchatantra
Similes Dictionary, 1st Edition. © 1988 The Gale Group, Inc

Have you ever been in one of those relationships where you wait for someone to change?

I once waited years for someone I loved to grow up and change. He never did, and when I'd had enough, our relationship ended. It's interesting to me because it was only after our breakup that he seemed to get himself together, become more mature, more open, just a better person all-round. I was left wondering, why couldn't he have been like that when we were together!

If you are stuck waiting for someone to change when you find they might not, it might really just be you are not the person they are meant to change for. This by no means makes you not the greatest person in the world, it just means its not meant to be.

The only person that can change someone is themselves. Perhaps you should look towards figuring out how to improve your life in other ways. One can not inflict a change upon another person they have to do that for themselves.

You deserve better than waiting around for someone and while some people will be brazen enough to ask you to wait, often these are decisions you make off your own back because you’re ignoring vital information, have decided you know better and prefer your fantasy.

Waiting means avoiding experiencing a ‘fail fail‘ or a ‘rejection rejection’. The longer you wait, the crappier you feel and the harder it is to stop waiting because you then reason that so much time has passed that to stop waiting now would be waste of all the previous time spent waiting and you feel like you have invested too much to stop.

While it will hurt to stop waiting, it’ll hurt a damn sight less than if you continue waiting and refuse to accept reality. You are better than being the person that they come back to after exhausting all other options. Don’t let them ‘settle’ for you after they discover that the grass is not greener on the other side.

John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” For me, life is what was happening while I was busy waiting for my big moment.

Have a good week.
xx

Who came up with the stupid word BAE

Been off here for a month, changing blogname after two weeks of starting was blog suicide, now the people who read are gone :(. Anyways, nobody there, but this is still like my little outburst journal.
It's a rant Monday

Woke up 8am on Saturday begrudgingly, knowing this weekend holds no fun for me. Oh BTW I passed my last exam, and while it is all honky dorry and exciting, it means I have to put my social life on hold to get through the next six extra large books within the next six months. Extra large, hmm, sounds like something else i'd rather be thinking of.

Alright so in the midst of all my doom at being stuck in the library while my bbm status was full of people looking fab wearing aso ebi and having fun, a message popped on my phone.

"What's up BAE?", and being in the difficult mood i was in i replied "wth is bae?" ... well the guy, who is my good friend, just ignored and probably couldn't deal with it.

But really though, what in God's name is bae, ain't we fine with babe, babe, boo, luv, honey, sweetheart (hate that one), and all this other cliche words, that we had to invent another one!

Some guy defined it best "The most fucking annoying way to say girlfriend, boyfriend, crush, or any other significant other. Commonly used by ghetto folks, swagfags, and annoying fucktads". OK maybe a bit extreme but still on the right lane!

Alright, #Notetoself, it's Monday, breathe in, won't get my panties in a twist about a stupid word, but for the fun of it, for all those of you who like the word bae, also means poop in danish.

Next time you decide to ditch the word baby and use bae, remember that, it's like typing what's happening smelly crappy shit. 

OK that made me feel better 

Totally off topic:

Mother's day was this weekend, sent my mom the cutest message, and she send me a not so cute, "looking forward to you being a mother soon". Thanks mamma, real subtle.

Shifting the excess weight

So I have absolutely never, before now, had issues with the way I look. Not because I believe I am God's gift to men but because I generally look healthy and in good shape.

Well recently, about four months back, I changed jobs, same job description, just different office. The awesome thing about my new office (and the reason I am in my present predicament) is food from the cafeteria is subsidized, uber cheap, lots of options, and did I say quite good. This, coupled with the fact that every other day someone is celebrating some buying small chops, cake, pizza, all the yummy things in life.

Well, it was all fun until Saturday. I was going for a dinner on Saturday and I had trouble zipping this dress I got fitted 4 months back. For the zip to come up, wahala, but I was determined to wear this my sleek awesome dress, so I squeezed into it by fire by force.

Enroute party I stopped to drop something for my brother, and trust the big mouth dude, he touched my tummy and asked if I have eaten, I said no, and you could see the horror on his face asking again " are you sure you have not eaten something, how can you say you have not eaten", with that judgmental stare at my tummy. All red and angry I left but then the truth is the truth no matter how callously it was communicated.

It is official, I am now a UK ten . Its not that anything is wrong with being a size ten, however, when you are 5'4, used to be a size 6 three years back, and you tend to pack fat on your tummy, chances are you look twice as chunky as a taller babe.

My mom also subtly hinted, she was like "Lola, don't you go for you morning run again, you should try to"

Since the universe, and the scale is telling me I am fat, it might be time to do something about it. Goodbye to my beloved rice!

So note to self# Morning Jogs, No more carbs, proteins, small portions, and lots of water.

Between you, me, and the bedpost

I have often thought growing up made for wiser decision making, but at times I have been faced with a situation where I have two equally difficult choices and I have made the wrong one. So.... I have decided maybe, just maybe I haven't gotten to that really wise all-knowing age just yet?. At least thats my consolation for last weekend....

Apparently your brain doesn't forget the bad choices you have made in the past and uses them as background for future decisions, so why then are some choices ever so recurrent. Why would I have that cocktail, eat that icecream cake or end up at my EX's (who I am sure I do not want to be with) house.

So I have decided for me, its pretty simple, weakness for immediate gratification of a somewhat pleasant experience, even if it is a bad choice, case in point #cakes#Icecream...

Or on a second thought, maybe I just zero in on something that really really scares me, being alone in three years (the big three 0), that drives my decision instead of logic. Case in point #Saturday night :(

Oh and on that note, no more alcohol for me; .. one of those weekends I would rather forget.

New year, new resolutions, new me?

Happy new year guys!

I hope you had an awesome celebration. Off topic, I have to get this off my mind, Gosh you should have seen church on new years eve, like where are these people every Sunday. If you are one of these people who never show up and make me trek 10mins because I couldn't find parking, them shame on you.

The first week in the year always comes with all these resolutions, lose weight, work harder, stop procrastinating, be nicer, the list is endless.  But for a lot of people, me included, it lasts just about three weeks or at most two months and we get back to our usual way of life.

My usual list
1. Stop drinking - never lasts through the second weekend
2. Exercise - well thats an all round year resolution
3. Be more organized - I think I will keep that one
4. Be more calm - Never works, no more trying

Anyways, this year I have decided to do away with the resolutions, and enjoy the rest of my 20s, which sadly is fast edging to its end#nomoremid20s, life is too short right.

Have a good one.